I Don't Think The Crazy's Gone

Strange to see things from the other side…

Today was my first day back in classes after a year of hiding in my Hobbit Hole and relearning how to live and function. The only two classes that I have in a classroom this quarter are choir and private lessons for piano and music theory. As I was walking into choir today I had a very strange feeling that I'd been there before but things seemed a little different this time. Things were different. Today I did something I've never done in my life. I went and sat in the soprano section.

I've spent my whole musical career as an alto, and then a mezzo (still first alto sometimes on loan as a mezzo soprano in ensembles), but never a soprano. I have to admit I liked it. I never realized how much easier it is being a soprano because you get the melody, but it is also a better place in my range and it just felt good.

After class I had lunch with my mother and we discussed that year I mentioned at the top. I told her it was like kicking down my castle made of blocks so that I could start again and build a better one. I like that analogy and I think that it's true. I spent so much time just trying to keep things together and functioning that I didn't realize that I didn't actually have to do that and that I would be much happier not doing it. I am allowed to live where I am and not at the point where I should be. Life is so much better these days even if I am not where I always wanted to be. It's okay. I have time.

I need to start saving a little money, though, because today reminded me of how much I need to start working with a voice teacher again. There is some serious work to be done.